Cooking
by ofb29
Summary: Cooking Jayne and River style. Pre BDM. fluff. touch of pre rayne


River screamed past him, running like the devil himself was on her tail. Mal jumped aside just in time, yelling after her 'stop runnin in the ruttin ship- you fall down, I ain't cleaning up after ya.'

Zoë chuckled, straightening herself up from where she had pressed herself into the door of Kaylee's bunk. 'She's probably just restless. We all are. We've been in the black over a month now.' She commented.

'Why don't she got a hobby like the rest of us.'

Zoë turned to him, eyebrow raised. 'Ya got a hobby?'

Mal ignored her as he walked to the bridge.

'Really sir? Cause I ain't ever seen you do anything.' Zoë continued to wheedle as she followed him. 'Come on sir, it might help us find something to keep little River busy.'

'What are we teasing the captain about now?' Wash asked from his seat in the pilot seat.

Mal fell heavily into the co pilot seat, regretting saying anything. Zoë of course, answered her husband. 'Captain was just enlightening us on his hobbies.'

'Mal's got a hobby? What is it?' He asked.

'Enough with this conversation. You heard from Badger?' Mal tried.

'Does getting shot count as a hobby?' Wash couldn't help adding.

Zoë laughed out loud, hardly quietening even when Mal glared at her for several seconds.

'Has Badger waved?' Mal yelled over the laughter.

It was a struggle, but Zoë and Wash got themselves under control. 'Yeah, he's meeting you at The Melton Mombray.'

'Stupid name for a bar.' Mal muttered.

'Didn't you get shot there once?' Wash couldn't resist asking.

'No…wasn't it a stabbing?' Zoë corrected.

'Oh, does that count as a hobby then?'

'Not if his fight for Inara's honour was anything to go by.'

'You two just crack me up.' Mal said sardonically. 'Let me know when we're landing.' He added, moving out of the Bridge quickly before the two could start up again.

He walked towards the mess but was distracted by the big hulk of Jayne blocking the way, moving towards him. 'We going to see Badger?'

'Yeah, weapon up.' Mal told him.

'Can I kill him this time?' Jayne asked, looking excited at the prospect.

'Only if he don't give us a job.' Mal said. 'We need cashy money from this.'

Jayne's face fell slightly.

Mal moved past him, patting his arm in sympathy as he passed. Simon was next to block his way. 'We're landing in Persephone?'

'Yes.' Mal said, eyes narrowing, waiting for the argument.

Instead Simon handed him a list. 'Need some supplies, please.'

Mal took the piece of paper. 'That it?'

Simon looked at him enquiringly. 'Where's the argument, the shouting, the disagreement. Gotta say, Doc, I'm disappointed.'

'Why would I argue about this? It's the first place in over two months where I can finally get some supplies for the infirmary.'

'Just, you know, that's what normally happens.' Mal said, disappointed. He looked at the long list in his hand. 'This gonna cost me?'

'Unless you wanna steal it again.'

'I don't got a lot of money. Not if we wanna keep on flying. And eating.'

Simon smiled at him, somewhat patronisingly. 'Well next time you get shot, or stabbed, or whatever else plan you come up with, I might not have any pain relievers to give you.'

'Ok, I'll get your list. Geez. And can you try and control your sister.' Mal added.

'What did she do?' Simon asked, suppressing the need to add now.

'Running around like a loon. She's gonna fall one of these days, and I'm not cleaning up the mess.'

'I'll see if I can find her something quieter to do.'

'You do that.'

'Might be easier if you could land somewhere we could get off for a while? Stretch our legs.' Simon added wistfully.

Mal sighed as he moved off. 'Don't push it.'

He was seated in the galley, enjoying a nice cup of soothing tea, when Kaylee found him. 'Don't.' Mal advised her.

Kaylee looked suitably innocent at him as she slid into a chair. 'Don't what, Capt?'

'Don't wanna hear about you needing anything for this ship that's gonna cost us platinum.'

Kaylee's face fell in an instant. 'Oh.' She looked at the wooden table in front of her, tracing one of the knots of wood with a finger.

Mal was silent for a second before he sighed. Loudly. 'What is it?' He finally asked heatedly.

'We need a new gasket.' Kaylee immediately answered, her whole demeanor changing in a second till she was literally bouncing in her chair. 'the v- r 66, it's made of perforated steel and has Teflon coat and-'

'Woah. Getting back to idiot captain talk. We need it?'

'Only if you don't want an engine leak that could see us floating serenly in the black with no power.' Kaylee answered.

'Ta me da…and it's gotta be this v-a'

'V-R.'

'V-R gasket?'

'Well…no…but I was reading about it and it's the best one, and it'll last the longest and give us the most power-'

'And cost the most platinum.' Mal finished for her. He sighed, leaning back in his chair. 'You can get a gasket.' Mal finally said. Kaylee's celebration was cut short though when he added. 'But the cheapest one you can find.'

Kaylee rolled her eyes. 'Yes capt.' She walked out of the mess, and Mal was sure she heard her mutter 'cheapskate.'

Before he could utter a hurt "Hey!" River bounded into the room from the other direction, not running exactly, but still bouncing around the room like a pinball. Mal watched her for a moment, drinking his tea, wondering where the hell she got the energy from sometimes.

She finally came to a stop at the table, taking a seat and regarding him with big eyes.

'I thought your brother was finding you something quieter to do.'

'He was distracted by the sunlight.' River told him seriously.

Mal thought about it for a moment, but let the comment slide. He regarded her over his cup. 'Do you need something from Persephone?' Mal asked her, seeing as she was the only one who hadn't asked.

'I have everything I require.' River answered him.

'Good.' Mal said, glad someone didn't want any thing that cost coin. 'that's good.'

'Captain, can I make acquaintances with Badger?'

'Make acqu-?' Mal questioned out loud. 'You mean meet Badger? No, you can't. you gotta stay on ship. And why would you want to meet that hun dan anyway?'

'We conversed before.'

'Before? When?'

'When captain was off fighting for the honour of another.'

Mal paused a moment, but knew exactly when River was talking about. The grin on River's face told him she knew too. 'No, you can't see Badger. Now, or ever. He'd turn you in if he had any notion who you were.'

'Thinks of me as kin.' River told him dreamily, her eyes shifting to the door a few seconds before Jayne walked in.

'Ah, Jayne- ain't it time a meal was prepared?' Mal questioned, glad to be off the subject of Badger.

Jayne rolled his eyes. He was on meal duty today. They'd been out in the black so long that Jayne wasn't sure why it was called meal duty as all they ever had was protein blocks. 'Here ain't I?' He grunted, moving into the small galley. He started hunting through the cupboards for anything to make it more palatable, not noticing River sidling over to stand next to him.

'Gah!' Jayne screamed unmanly like when he turned to find River stood two inches from him.

River smiled brightly up at him. 'I would like to offer my services.'

Jayne's mind, of course, went completely to rot at the mention of services.

'In the kitchen.' River added, catching his last thought.

'Don't need help.' Jayne grunted. 'It's protein.'

'Time stands adjacent to the bay.' River told him.

Jayne's face screwed up in a frown, a mass of lines that River found amusing for a moment before she rolled her eyes and danced across the little kitchen. Her fingers danced themselves between packages to the small bottles crammed at the back. She handed them to Jayne.

'Oh.' Jayne's face straightened out once again. 'Herbs. Why didn't you say so?'

'Did.' River pointed out.

The lines reappeared, as Jayne mulled this over, reaching out for a pan as he did so. River could tell when realisation came over him just from the disappearance of the lines. River took the pan and filled it with water which Jayne put on the stove he'd just lit. Jayne started roughly chopping the protein up, adding dried vegetables to make it a little palatable. Without looking, he reached back to the herb bottle that River was holding out to him. He poured in two teaspoons, then reached for the next bottle.

Behind him, he heard River rustling through the cupboard. Seeing as she seemed to know where everything was kept hidden, he let her, taking what she offered with hardly a glance, pouring in bicarbonate, the last bit of garlic paste, something oily from a jar and a generous amount of some liquid out of a bottle that River handed him. For a moment he watched it cook, then put the lid on firmly, knowing the crew would be there in a few minutes wanting food, and wouldn't want to be waiting.

As if reading his thoughts…scratch that, he meant reading his thoughts, River appeared at his elbow once again, a loaf of bread that Inara had knocked together with the left over corn in her hand. Even as he cut it into chunks the rest of the crew started arriving for meal time.

'Smells…interesting.' Simon ventured, taking a seat next to Kaylee, sniffing the air. It smelled better than protein normally did.

'You always make nice dinners, Jayne.' Kaylee said, giving the merc a big smile.

Jayne ignored the comment, although not so much the smile, noticing the light in Simon's smile dim when Kaylee smiled at him like that. He placed the bread on the table, River dancing along beside him with some plates in her hands.

'Dinner'll be a few.' He told them, taking a seat at the table while he waited, grabbing a piece of bread for himself.

River sat beside him, a piece of bread already in her hand that she was tearing small chunks from with her fingers, examining it carefully before placing it carefully in her mouth.

Conversation filled the table. Zoë was listening to Wash needle the captain more about his hobby. Kaylee was talking excitedly to anyone who would listen (Simon) about the gasket she wanted to buy, and what she'd probably be able to afford. Inara smiled at Kaylee's excited babble, paying more attention to Mal but trying to cover it up. River was doing a silent countdown, unable to keep the smile of anticipation from her lips.

The small bang was loud against the back drop of small talk, the metal lid of the pan easily making contact with the ceiling before falling back to the floor with a clang, making more than one of them jump; making Mal and Zoë reach for guns that weren't present, making Jayne grunt in surprise, making Simon squeal almost as loud and as high as Kaylee, making Inara drop her piece of bread before it could get to her lips. Making River almost fall out of her chair with laughter.

'River!' Mal's voice was loud, his anger at being surprised ringing almost as loud as her laughter.

River's laughter left an echo of a smile on her lips, brightening her face. 'Yes captain?' She asked.

Mal glared at her, eyes narrowed.

'What did you do, mei mei?' Simon sounded shocked, and a little fearful that his sister had done something to truly annoy the captain this time.

'Jayne's turn to cook.' River pointed out.

Everyone's look turned to the big stunned merc. 'What? Didn't do nothing!'

'Jayne!' Mal said, glaring at him now.

'It was her, Mal!' Jayne protested quickly.

Mal looked over at the mess of foam that was now spilling over the edge of the saucepan, and heard a groan from Simon. His look shifted to the boy, who was also staring at the kitchen, a knowing look in his eyes.

'she did it!' Jayne protested as Mal's look returned to him.

'Jayne added the ingredients.' River protested.

'She gave me the ingredients.' Jayne countered.

'Jayne put it on the heat.'

'I didn't know what she was giving me!'

'Well Jayne blew it up!'

'Stop!' The captain yelled at both of them. 'I don't want to hear it. Both of you, go eat in your bunk.'

Jayne pouted, pulling another piece of bread from the pile, glaring at River.

River was ignoring him in favour of looking at the captain. 'Don't have a bunk in which to consume my bread.' She pointed out.

'Use the cargo bay for all I care- just go!'

River pouted, mimicking the look on Jayne's face as they both walked out the mess, the bickering echoing all through Serenity as they walked.

Mal took a bite of his bread, only to be interrupted by a loud snort of laughter from Kaylee. Mal rolled his eyes, but even Simon and Zoë were smiling.

'Looks like River got that hobby you were after.' Wash said, admiring the foam that had spilled out of the pan. 'Chemistry!'

'I should have eaten in my bunk.' Mal muttered, mostly to himself.


End file.
